construction paper chain links

The first thing I do when I come home from work each night is to check my tracking number on the express envelope with my visa/passport to see if it’s been submitted to the United States Postal Service. This has been my routine for the past 3 weeks and it’s surprisingly still excitement inducing. I hold my breath as I turn on my laptop, and look away as I type the last two digits to the tracking number, then press enter. Anxiously I reroute my eyes to the computer screen, in hopes that it will display my tracking number and its respective delivery status. Upon reading the words “There is no record of this item,” I collapse disappointedly into my chair. Maybe tomorrow. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I feel this childlike hope that something better is coming. The kind of hope where one makes a construction paper chain link that marks the number of days until a big holiday, taking one link off day by day. 27 more days until that plane takes off with or without me, my visa had better arrive by then.

Sick with the Travel Bug

I spent the last week with one of my best friends, helping her move to SLC, then flew home on Saturday morning. Upon arrival at baggage claim it took what seemed like an eternity for my flight's luggage to start appearing. After four bags dropped onto the carousel, the carousel stopped because a big bag got caught at the end of the conveyor belt. After 10 minutes of waiting for help to arrive I got a little crazy and jumped up and across the carousel, onto the top part where the conveyor belt / ramp are, and began freeing the bags. Like 90 people started cheering and clapping, meanwhile a security guard began to yell at me about the dangers of falling... "well somebody had to do something," the lady holding my purse retorted. It was hilarious, but a reminder that I can't being doing this stuff in foreign countries where I can actually get into trouble ;) Speaking of foreign countries, I BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET TO BCN LAST NIGHT!!!!

That flight on Saturday gave me the travel bug, and now all I can think about is traveling. Thoughts of airplane smell, the run between gates to make a connection, and the satisfaction felt upon arrival flood my wandering mind... it's so hard to focus right now. I don't think there's a cure in my immediate future that can satiate my desire to be free, abroad, and have new eyes.

This is the itinerary:

Tue, Sep 21, 2010 Depart: 07:29 am Arrive: 03:30 pm Seattle/Tacoma, WA (SEA) Washington, DC (IAD) Travel time: 5 hrs 1 min 1 Stop - change planes in Washington, DC (IAD) Connection Time: 1 hr 45 mins

Depart: 05:15 pm Arrive: 07:15 am Washington, DC (IAD) Copenhagen, Denmark (CPH) Travel time: 8 hrs 1 Stop - change planes in Copenhagen, Denmark (CPH) Connection Time: 50 mins

Depart: 08:05 am Arrive: 11:10 am Next day Arrival Copenhagen, Denmark (CPH) Barcelona, Spain (BCN) Travel time: 3 hrs 5 mins I am feeling euphoric, but will probably be a little on edge until I receive that visa/passport in the mail. I also gave my notice at work, which went really well and I am at peace with this decision. Now I just need to secure a place to live, which will be easier to do after September 1st. I assume this will be the primary cause for anxiety during this journey as it's difficult to find a place to live from the other side of the world. I am so fortunate to have a friend from Barcelona, Javi, who has given me detailed direction about which neighborhoods are safe, which neighborhoods I would like, and which neighborhoods are convenient. This gave me so much peace of mind.

Thoughts of Goodbye

This was something written August 4th, 2010.

I wish it wasn’t so difficult to get papers to live in another country. I feel as though I’ve spent every free moment getting medical clearance, police clearance, legalized documents and apostilles of The Hague, copies of copies, and so on. Three weeks ago, I spent a whole day in middle of nowhere Olympia for a notarized letter stating one sentence, “There is no conviction criminal history record information in the Washington State Patrol Identification and Criminal History Section files on Nicole E. Veldwyk.” And thanks to rush hour traffic, I now know where the Nisqually Valley is… Thank God, because I was really starting to wonder ;)

On a more thoughtful note, I am somewhat reluctant to put in my notice at work. The kids I work with trust me and confide in me; I get to be a static entity in their lives, encouraging them as they thirst for positive attention that has been scarce for them. I am protective of these kids, proud of these kids, and unfortunately, sometimes scared of these kids. Helping them engage in healthy, prosocial behaviors is challenging, but I have been so honored and humbled by this experience. Little things that we so easily overlook, such as birthday cakes, doctors appointments, homework help, and soccer scrimmages – I get to do. I am an adult in their lives who sees their faults, their history, and shortcomings – and they are accepted by me. I have never before seen so much hurt, anger, deprivation, resentment, anxiety, depression, and pure pain as I have witnessed in my clients. Never before have I felt such pride over good grades, winning soccer goals, volunteer work, acquired independent living skills, and improvement in treatment as I do in my kids. This is an experience that I am both thrilled and heavy hearted to move on from. It’s time.